ERIN(danielle)

"Who hates negativity and told I can't pass the test"

2011-07-05T12:17:00.000-07:00

I am sitting and avoiding the massive amount of planning I have for the school year ahead, because it just seems like so much I do not even know where to start. Before I left Memphis I slide a few old student papers into my stack of work to serve as inspiration.

Can I tell you it worked?
(well minus the fact that I am blogging right now! I just had to share this)

I had my students write "I am" poems at the end of the semester this past year. Most likely if you have taught you have done this assignment at some point with your students. It's pretty common, but their words are not. The samples below are not their complete ones, just bits and pieces.

"I am Simme-Sosa...
Who needs to strive harder, continue education and apply myself more...
Who hates abuse and neglect of any extent...
Who fears God...
Who dreams of changing a massive number of lives, communities, and the world itself all over...
I am Simme-Sosa"

"I am Josalyn...
Who needs love and attention at all times...
Who hates negativity and told I can't pass the test...
Who fears being hated or disliked because of mess...
Who dreams of doing big things...
I am Josalyn"

"I am Denzel...
Who neesds excuses for not being the best...
Who loves the joy of accomplishment...
Who hates injustice and ignorance...
Who fears for the education of young African Americans...
Who dreams of changing the world of others one person at a time...
Who lives in Memphis and wouldn't change it for anything...
I am Denzel"

These are just a few of the many. What you read above are the words of 18 year olds who have been entrapped within a system that has passed them along and neglected their full potential since they entered when they were 5. And 12 years, later a week before they walk across they stage, they know it.

I wish you all could meet those three students. When you meet them you would see a young man who has more wisdom than he realizes in his large 6'4" frame. A young lady whose creativity is going to launch her into whatever career she pursues. And a young man who as overcome more adversity than I could ever think to go through, yet has been given a gift of joy that is so contagious you cannot help but smile when you are around him.

By HIS mercy I am given this ministry. By HIS mercy I get to teach. By HIS mercy I get the incredible opportunity to live in Memphis. Oh Jesus give me strength in my large amounts of weakness and never let me forget why I am going this. Increase my creativity as I work today please.

A good friend started Teach for America and had her first day in the classroom today. She text me this morning and said "Teaching today was...interesting. I'll explain later, but so great that the Lord reminded me in a brief and crazy morning why I'm doing this. These kids deserve better and are capable of so much! So so thankful that He was able to bring that back to life for me today by seeing kids. They're wonderful!!!!"

Mmm. Love her words. They are so true and ....
So good.

They are wonderful! :)

So.... I .......
Can't be sleepin' Can't be slumin' Why not? Why not? Cuz my kids be comin'!

Until next time...
E

What drives me?

2010-09-03T12:04:00.001-07:00

On Wednesday I played this commercial for my students. They had to tell me where they saw formal and informal balance along with how lines impacted the final piece. Let me tell you, when I played this video it was the first time my class of 40+ students were still and silent. That never really is my goal in class, but for the first time I had 100% of their attention.

You have on idea how cool it was to watch them watch the video. (make sure to watch it below!)

At the end of the video there is a quote from Kobe Bryant where he says....

"This is what drives me". Referring to playing in the NBA.

So, I asked my students for their "exit ticket" (they have to do one of these everyday to get out of my class) to write me a few sentences on what drives them.

Here are what some of my students said:

What drives me is a want to succeed and be great at everything I do. I never want to be the absolute best at anything because I have a desire to learn and grow and whenever I do something the second time I want it to be better than when I did it the second time. That’s what drives me.

What drives me is my determinations to do whatever I put my mind to. Especially basketball. Although I’ve stopped playing for the moment, I won’t let it stop me forever.

Every person has a passion. Personally, mine is anything that makes me feel alive. Whether it is camping, music, or anything physical that pushes me to the edge of my limits, I try my hardest. Specifically there are two things that force me to do almost anything: money and proving people wrong. In the real world, money equals power. Also, obviously things cost money and as a young man with expensive taste there must be a source of income. Having a desire to prove a person wrong is the biggest driving force behind anything I do. No one dictates my motives and I make it my mission to prove an untamed, free-thinking individual.

What drives me? My little brother. He drives me because I’m all he has. My dad is in prison and his mother is hooked on drugs.

My determination to be independent drives me. My want to have the better things in life and not struggle. Also to never have to ask anybody for anything drives me.

Basketball drives me because of the motivation and the cheer of the crowd. Knowing that everybody is depending on me to make the basket. Basketball is my outlet in life whenever I get mad, depend on it because it’s my future.

Education is what drives me. I feel that without education I cannot be the person God desired me to be. I know that I can do far with education.

My passion to be a lawyer is what drives me. Without a goal or a dream my life would be incomplete.

Winning drives me. Greatness and power also drive me. Everyday I work hard at practice to achieve these.

Being able to be a breadwinner for my family is what drives me. I strive hard and plan on being successful. One of my favorite quotes is “Pay now, so that you can play later”. I aspire to attend a 4 year University after high school. I want to be able to provide for my family and give my mother whatever she wants.

Confidence drives me. It drives me because I feel like I can do any and everything. It drives me to be the best.

What drives me is to be myself. The fact that I like to follow in my own footsteps and do what makes me happy. I love not wanting to uphold a certain image because its not me. I love being myself and doing me.

What drives me? My little sister drives me. She drives me to be a better big brother and to be a role model for her.

The arts drive me. Any kind, rather it be music, dance, theatre, art, etc. I love the creativity and unique value that all artistic media has. The arts have always influenced me and have made me who I am today. I guess you could say life drives me, but arts drive my life.

28

2010-08-21T13:04:00.000-07:00

-- Welcome to room B-204 --

Well two weeks down. 28 to go.

This week was one of my hardest weeks in Memphis. I was homesick and impatient and exhausted and overwhelmed. I felt down right needy.

That is a feeling I hate and I wanted to go away. And I wanted it to go away fast.

I fought this feeling as I sat in my Thursday night class. After a long week in the classroom and feeling like I have accomplished nothing with my students, we began talking about literacy. My class is called "Reading in the Content Area". If you are an educator, you have taken this class at one point or another. If you are an urban educator, you realize this could be one of the most important classes you will ever take.

One of my classmates Stu began asking our professor how to teach his 8th grade social studies students how to read and write. Why?

Because he is almost completely illiterate.

How do you make it to 8th grade and not know how to read and write? How do my 12th graders not know how to spell basic words? (and I mean BASIC).

If there is something that makes me angry this is it... this is way the system is so messed up. Teachers just let students slide by because they are too much of a problem and do not want to deal with them. And then they end up in 8th grade illiterate and 12th grade not being able to write a complete sentence.

My professor was giving us ideas on where to start. We literally had to go back and learn how to start from the beginning. Teaching our 8-12th graders patterns of reading and the alphabet.

As my professor was talking about all of this I sat there and all I could think of was a conversation I had just had with nephew the day before. He knows the ABC's. All of them. Every single one. Capitalized. Lower-Case.

He is 2.

It blows my mind how much of a difference it makes in what home-life you grow up in when it comes to your educational career.

I cannot make excuses for my students. No excuses. Have high expectations. There are NO EXCUSES for these students. If I let them slide, they will fall back into the exact same lifestyle they are trying to get out of.

Education and knowledge is the ONE thing no one can ever take away from them or you.

So 28 weeks to go.

I'm not saying that in a sense of a countdown. Trust me. 28 meaning, I have 28 weeks to push my students to mastery. To help them learn how to spell. To teach them how to write a good resume. To teach them how to give a good handshake. To love them. To serve them. To push them. To not make excuses. To not waste time.

28.

That's a small number, but a very capable one.

(Prayer Requests: patience, creativity, confidence, CONTENTMENT, passion, church family, small group, mentor, my students, room B-204, Whitehaven)

Danny and Kevin.

2010-08-13T22:54:00.000-07:00

I have to do a journal after everyday for my MTR Coach. This is an excerpt from Wednesday, August 11th.
All names are changed.

Today was my first real teaching day in front of the students. There was so much going through my mind with each movement, question, response, and interaction with each student. Did I have enough wait time? Have I been standing in one spot too long? Why is this group reacting so much different than my last group? Did I tell them what to do or what not to do? How is my proximity? The list goes on and on. I am so grateful that I am a part of MTR and I can already implement so many things that I have learned so far in class. I have found the classes where I know the students names better, I have greater success in responses and interaction. I realize I need to really work hard on getting to know each one of their names and more about them as my students. I am so grateful to Mrs. Simpkins for allowing me to jump right it and help teach with so much. She has let me teach over half of the class each class period and trusts me with the students.

One of the neatest parts of the day was in homeroom this morning. Yesterday I saw a young man walking through the halls who was in my homeroom the day before. I stopped him and told him I missed him that morning in homeroom and asked him why he wasn't there. He said he just slept and did not feel like coming. I then asked him if he would be in homeroom the next day, because I really wanted to see him in the morning. He said "Yes ma'am" and started walking away. I then just shouted down the hallway, "Danny, you better keep that promise. I'll see you in the morning, have a great night." Guess who came walking down the hall this morning? Danny! He came to homeroom, sat down, looked incredibly disengaged and annoyed that he was there. Then when he left I told him thank you for coming and I look forward to seeing him tomorrow. I was so proud of him for keeping his word, something that is not held to such a high importance in today's society. I hope I see Danny tomorrow.

Another story is with one of my Art II students named Kevin. Kevin brought me his art portfolio today and was so excited for me to look at it and wanted feedback on his work. He smiled really big and was thrilled to be in class. He told me to just keep it and look over it during the day. I was so impressed that he trusted me with all his artwork and valued my opinion already.

Both of these stories are mainly to say that I have already seen growth in my students and it is just day three! There is so much potential in each one of them and I see a huge difference in the students that I have started building a relationship with rather than the ones that I do not have one with yet. I have to keep pushing myself to ask names and shake hands even if it seems uncomfortable or annoying at times.

Lately I have been praying that every interaction with students and co-workers would be done with the compassion of Jesus Christ. The Lord is so faithful in reminding me of that in my moments of impatience, selfishness or frustration. For example, I found out today I am suppose to do lunch duty. I was not too excited about this in all honesty. As I walked in I saw the administrators looking stressed out and overwhelmed. I thought of my Dad (who is a principal of a large Urban High School) and realized I can do so much to help them out in this short 20 minutes I am required to be in the cafeteria each day. When I left I noticed a lot of trash on the floors and tables and was humbled in picking up each piece. Wow, the Lord reminded me that every interaction with someone is huge; whether that is a face-to-face interaction or an across the cafeteria glance. EVERYTHING I do must be in HIS name and for HIS glory, not my own. No matter how big or how small that task or service is. I am strangely excited about lunch duty now; hoping that my service will be a light to my administrators and hopefully at least alleviate some of their stress for the day.

Just another day at the Haven....

First few days....

2010-08-10T17:17:00.000-07:00

It's official. I'm a Urban Educator.

I am sitting in a coffee shop GULPING down some wonderful coffee. I only allow myself to have it once or twice a week so I don't get addicted, don't worry. Working on all my master's coursework and need to focus, but thought I deserved a break so I'm on here.

There is SO much from this week already. Mainly this:

You know you are in MCS when your students ask you if you are German or Canadian because you are white and NOT from the South.

Alright that's enough for today :)
There is so much to say, but I have to get back to studying.

The photo above is of KIPP DIAMOND Academy here in Memphis.
It is a charter school that is really pushing academic achievement and succeeding in incredible ways. We have 7 residents doing their internship their this year.

The old guys at Panera.

2010-07-27T13:51:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in Panera right now working on school work. I came here just because it reminds me of home. Sad but true... There are very little things in the town that are similar to home, so I take it up as much as I can.

There are three old guys beside me, enjoying coffee and talking about the upcoming high school football season. They have switched from buying hard wood floors and the outrageous cost of it all. I have never heard so many curse words and every one is putting a smile on my face. Especially when he says Home Depot as Home "Dah-Poe". Oh I love old guys. :)

He just said, "Damn right... I have never seen so many obese women as I have seen in the city of Memphis...." Oh my goodness this conversation is getting better and better. I want to record it!

Next topic....

I've GOT to do a better job of updating this thing. It's going to be my "school-year" resolution!
Here are a few things I've been up to lately...

Master's Classes:
1. Got my first 3 A's in my master's program :)
2. About to finish up 2 more courses.
3. Finished observing at KIPP DIAMOND, a charter school in Memphis. That is what the picture above is... my group with our KIPP shirts. Don't we look like teachers?!?
4. I start in the classroom Monday with teacher inservice and then on the 9th with students! Crazy!

Outside of MTR:
1. Went to my first southern wedding outside of Nashville. It was BEAUTIFUL. A small town called Franklin, TN. When we pulled into town, someone asked me if this is what small town Kansas looked like. My response? I just started laughing. They said... so what DOES it look like? My response to this one? Beat up farm trucks and a stop light if you are lucky. Anyway, we danced the night away and it was such a fun experience.
2. Went to Shelby Farms, a large part in Memphis, this morning with a friend for a long bike ride. It was great. I miss being outside and in the country and that is going to be one of my favorite places in Memphis. It is beautiful! There are buffalo, running trails, turtles, ducks, biking trials, strawberry fields, and lots more.

Those are a few things going on. I need to get back to work.
The old guys are still going... Now they are talking about air conditioning and plumbing.

Peace.

I promise I'll do better!!

2010-07-10T21:19:00.001-07:00

I promise I'll do better updating this thing! :)

After having a class from 8-3 today...Tonight we went to a redbirds game (triple A baseball). The MTR krew rocks (see all my new wonderful friends above), just love all these people a whole lot. Our director took us to the game, fed us and there was a fireworks show at the end! The only DISadvantage was the stinkin Memphis HEAT and HUMIDITY. Oh my goodness, I looked a hot mess.

Anywho. I will be updating this more. Please keep reading you like! Love you all. Gotta get some zzz's.

P.S.: Memphis Moment of the week: Watching the sunset on the Mississippi, with a Sonic slush, and seeing a shack/boat float down the river. I think the real Huckleberry Finn was in there!

Rosa you rock.

2010-06-19T22:04:00.000-07:00

This city has history.

Strong history.

From Holiday Inn to FedEx to Elvis to Johnny Cash to Martin Luther King Jr.

I have only lived in this city for about 3 weeks now, but I have learned more than I could have ever imagined. Thanks mainly to MTR for doing such a wonderful job taking us around and having speakers come talk to us as well. But I've also learned a lot just from the people I have met here.

This place is so diverse. Full of many different people. From skin color to socioeconomic level to cultures. I live in the heart of the city and I can drive 1 mile one way and be by a million dollar house or I can drive 1 mile the other way and be in the projects.

Let's back up to that history. The history of Memphis still effects it greatly today. I had the privilege to go the Civil Rights Museum with my classmates and professors. I admire the Civil Rights leaders so much more than I ever have before. They are my heros without a doubt. We were on the tour and there was a bus we could climb in. I sat down. And the bus driver (an automated voice) started yelling at me to move. I just got up and moved. I didn't want to make him mad or cause a scene. I'm no Rosa Parks. For the first time, I had an itty-bitty-tiny experience of what it would've felt like to not be able to sit on a bus because of something out of my control: my skin color.

Rosa Parks was strong. She was courageous.

As I walked through this building I read story after story of courageous men and women who stood up for something they believed in. One group called the Freedom Riders even handed in their wills before they left, because they knew they would mostly be killed for their selfless act. They were working towards something that they would never see.

Or how about the sit ins? A group of college students (both African American and White) literally would practice getting food thrown on them and cigarettes burned on their heads, because they were determined to just sit in these segregated restaurants and not revolt back in violence. They wanted their kids to be able to eat lunch together. Or how about the police charts. I read through the police charts and calls for one month in the sixties. One (of hundreds) said that a young African American who had a mental illness was killed in front of his mother. She called in to report the incident and the police ruled it an accidental homicide.

Really?

An accidental homicide?

I walked through and was so frustrated and embarrassed at the fact that people my skin color afflicted so much pain and torment upon others. And not only my skin color, but people who claimed they knew Jesus Christ as the Son of God. As this thought was going through my head one of my new, amazing friends grabbed my arm and said, "Isn't this crazy? 40 years ago we wouldn't have been able to walk by each other like this."

Wow.

And I wondered what caused the KKK to do things in the name of Jesus like they did. And I wondered why God-fearing, bible-believing people still judge people TODAY based on their skin color. And I wondered why people still make jokes like it's over and past and we don't have to deal with it anymore so let's just make fun of it.

It's not over.

It's still very much alive.

You see Martin Luther King was shot and killed in Memphis in the 1968. That still effects today. Why? My students. Their grandparents where here in this city when that happened.

The school I am teaching at is 99.4% African American. My school gets less money than a school a few miles away that is in a white community. I don't want to say why I think they do but it's pretty obvious.

So Rosa. You rock. I pray that I have the courage and passion to fight for my student's right to EQUAL education. Something they do not get right now.

Thanks for all your prayers. I'll update this more since I have internet. Promise :) LOVE YOU ALL! SO MUCH! Come visit :)

only in memphis...

2010-06-07T20:50:00.000-07:00

went on a run by the mississippi and heard a sweet old man playing his sax. only in memphis. :)

Hello Memphis!

2010-06-05T12:58:00.000-07:00

Well I made it to Memphis and have moved in and am starting this new stage of life whether I'm ready for it or not! The transition hasn't been too bad.

Mom and Dad helped me move and I would not have been able to do it without them that is for sure. They are the best parents ever and we had a really good time together, from trying to figure out where we were in Memphis to 1898230984 Target stops to Mom thinking she is really from Memphis and talking to everyone like she knew them. Ha! Saying bye was tough but I really was trusting the Lord in being here.

I am in school with some amazing people. My roommate is just awesome and we have had some great times already. There are a few girls who worked at KAA and I have had some great times with them so far. I went with one of them downtown last night and we cooked hamburgers for the homeless that live there. It was great. They were awesome guys, I loved it. It was through Life Church, I'm gonna check it out tomorrow I think.

Don't really know what all to write on here, besides I'm doing good. It's been very overwhelming at times but I'm trying to just take a day at time. I have my moments but then after that I tell myself to not sit and sulk but get up and do something!

Oh and I found out that I will be working at Whitehaven High School with my mentor art teacher. It is in the Southwest corner of the city. I get to drive by Graceland everyday and salute the king :) I know you all are jealous!

Here are a new thing I'm gonna do on my blog... It's titled ONLY IN MEMPHIS...

So here is the ONLY IN MEMPHIS for today.

Will you find a bus stop and a sign that says no standing, sitting, or parking at anytime.

AND

Will people fight at WalMart in there Southern accents and still sound polite and nice.

Love you all, thanks for the prayers. Keep praying if you don't mind. For my workload coming up, for solid community and a church.

Goodbye ITC

2010-05-28T21:56:00.000-07:00

Well I'm off to Memphis on Monday.

For those of you who don't know I am moving to Memphis, TN to start a Master's Program in Urban Education called MTR (Memphis Teacher Residency). It is a year long and then a 3 yr residency afterwards, so I'll be there for 4 years.

So why Urban Ed? After working at Kids Across America (KAA) my eyes were really opened up to the realities of the injustices within the U.S., specifically in Urban Cities, specifically in the educational systems in Urban America. I had the privilege to work with and meet some of the most incredible 12-15 year olds in these cities, but my heart was broken to know some of the situations they had to back to and live within. And I believe on of the greatest ways to change the crime, poverty and some of these generational cycles is to help get these kids through high school and beyond.

So why Memphis? For some reason I love this city. For some reason after kamp this year I could not get away from this city. I don't know why but I know I'm suppose to be there. I know it's rough, I know in some parts it's dangerous, but I also know that we are suppose to go where no one else wants to and that the Lord has gone before me and that Memphis is full of amazing people who need a relationship with an amazing God.

I'll try and keep updates on here as often as possible. My schedule is pretty intense this year with classes but I'm sure i'll have time to get distracted on here. Please stay in touch too. One of the hardest things about moving is leaving all the friends and family. So I would love to hear from all of you as much as possible :) Come visit me.

Memphis greats: BBQ, Elvis, Blues and Chicken and Waffles... Come on ... Roadtrip! You drive, I've got a place for you to stay!

Lastly if you wanna...

Prayer points for June:

Transition to Memphis

Roommate (Maya)

Classes

Good Community/Church

Donate Somebody Else's Mooo-laaaahhh!

2010-03-16T09:28:00.000-07:00

I was educationally surfing the net today at work ;) and ran across this awesome website. It's called See Jane Advocate: a busy mom's practical guide to social justice. Now I'm no mom and won't be for sometime, but it was created by an awesome photographer who married an old Sterling grad. Too much info? Ok I'll cut to the chase. Anyway one of her posts was about a way to donate somebody else's money. This rocks. Check this out.

An Australian based company called Hotels Combined has a new marketing initiative. Instead of spending their normal marketing/ad budget the "normal" way, they are donating to several different non-profits in exchange for word of mouth reference. Like me putting this on this blog. You can even tweet (yes kellie!) or facebook and they give back. How sweet is that?

I'm donating $20 to World Vision without spending a single penny.

Thank you Hotels Combined for taking a risk and using your money to help those who really need it. You guys rock.

My dream job....

2010-03-03T12:36:00.000-08:00

Check out this website.

www.keelymariescott.com

It's a photographers journey through several trips with Compassion International. She is the photographer that gets to capture the sponsors meeting their kiddos. Wow. So jealous.

It's WAY worth your time.

I can follow their journey this month as they go visit kids in Kenya. (so can you by clicking on the box below) My little girl Faith is there. I hope I get to see her someday!

lil' peanut

2010-02-26T08:37:00.000-08:00

found this pic today on my computer at work. then i messed with it on picasa. a cheap photoshop basically that i have to use for our website to get photos on there. anywho.... just love my lil' peanut. he's gettin' soooo big. i took this on my computer at work when he came to visit me for my birthday! i love you buddy!

--ti ti

MTR

2010-02-22T07:28:00.001-08:00

[I seem to go through blogging SLUMPS. DESERTS. DRY-SPELLS.

Well, here is my 189734092 attempt to try and re-start this blog.

So to all my faithful readers (all 2 of you!) I'm back! haha...]

Post-Grad.

What a weird stage of life. Transition from a whole life of education to the real-world has to be one of the most challenging, awkard, and unsure times.

All the sudden it's all over.

So... now what? Hmm.... It's the time where people say you can to whatever you want. To some extent this is true. I have nothing tying me down, no obligations, no serious relationship (sorry about that one grandma), and praise the Lord I even came out of Sterling with no loans.

Here is my latest kick. And it's not just a kick this time. Kellie likes to remind everyone that I just throw out crazy ideas of what I'm going to do but change my mind 2 days later. (Hello you know I don't like commitment!!) But this one I've been praying about since September.

MEMPHIS! The city of BBQ and blues... There is a great possibility I'll move their at the end of May. I am in the application process for a master's program called MTR (Memphis Teacher Residency). My final interview is March 19th. I find out at the beginning of April if I'm in. With over 200 applicants and less than 40 spots, it's gonna be tough. I would explain it, but this video does a much better job. Check it out if you have time.

Peace.

africa + christmas

2009-11-24T06:39:00.000-08:00

a couple Northern Ugandan boys

last night a got home late after going to the hospital with one of my players who got a really bad concussion in our game. so i get home, opened my computer. don't know why because i hate getting on it after i work on one all day long. then i randomly found a song a youtube by Sara Groves called "I saw what I saw". It was about her time in Rwanda.

I watched it and cried. Completely aware of the fact that I had forgotten about Africa. I mean I remembered, but forgot at the same time. I miss that place so much.

So then I went to a bunch of random sites to see how war-ending efforts are going, especially in Uganda and the Congo as the LRA (the Lord's Resistance Army) is continuing to abduct children and force them into their army to try and over throw the government there. I checked out Invisible Children and realized it's still going on and I forgot about all those kids.

Ugh.

Anyway, one thing I love about Invisible children is that 100% of there profits go to helping in the war in Uganda. Not this pathetic, buy a 300 dollar (RED) iPod and 4 dollars goes. Wow. Way to go Apple. As much as a rave about your projects and am obsessed with them that is ridiculous number.

So here is my Christmas wish. Since I never know what people should get me for Christmas.... Invisible Children have started a product line called "Mend". It's a hand bag making line, giving the women in Uganda who's kids have been abducted by the LRA a way to make money and provide for themselves, without having to sacrifice their bodies. I actually was in the application process for being the design liaison for this line in May, but turned it down because of KAA. It is an incredible program.

Anyway. I want a bag. One of these bags, the women make.
I'd like the MEND cinch-black-pink-and-polka-dot one to be exact.

I always never know what to do with my life. Now I really don't know. Memphis. Kenya. Uganda. Sterling. Wichita. Who knows. Well He does, but I'd like to.

confession time.

2009-11-17T07:54:00.000-08:00

i have to make a confession.

no crushes this time. unfortunately all hope for some have been lost. but here's my real one....

i listened to christmas music on my way to work today. i don't know what's happening to me. the once scrooge mentality that i possessed just can't wait for candy canes, twinkle lights, and the colors red and green to be flooded everywhere.

plus i'm in the middle of making christmas stationery/letterhead at work. i think that's only encouraging my desire to see santa fall through a chimny.

mmmm.... i just thought of christmas cookies and got real excited. yum.

I have a crush.

2009-11-06T06:58:00.000-08:00

It's time.
After being off of here for a few months I'm gonna start blogging again. I know you are all so excited. So at least to make me feel better read through this first one :)

The last few months have been CRAZY so i'm not even going to update any of you on them, except to let you know I am a graphic designer/college basketball coach who is trying to take one day at time in the little town(s) of sterling and lyons kansas. learning a lot right now so i figure i might as well share some of it with whoever wants to know.

main thing right now: i have a crush.

yes, that's right a crush.

since i've been in lyons working i have had the great opportunity to meet some pretty incredible people. most of them are over the age of 65 and i think that's why i like them so much. so my crush is an older, local artist who has the sweetest, most compassionate heart. i just finished designing some postcards for him and his wife's show coming up in Ellsworth this month and every day he would come in just to check and see how things are going. i have loved listening to his many stories and just getting to know him. i am sad that i finished his project because now i don't get to see him. long story short, he stole my heart. i hope i get to work for him again sometime soon!

panama and camp

2009-05-15T07:54:00.000-07:00

(had to add a pic! this is some of my favorite people and me mud wrestling before graduation!)

A lot has happened since my last post. My show. Graduation. Moving Home. It's been a crazy time, but only gonna get crazier! Which I am so ready for!

Part 1:
I leave for Panama on Sunday. pray pray pray for us. you can see what we are up to on our blog at
http://scpanama.blogspot.com/.
If you didn't know I am going there with some of the players from the men's and women's basketball teams at Sterling. We are doing a sports ministry trip down there. The men will be playing some international teams as well (we might get to too! just have to wait till we get down there to see!)

Part 2:
The day i get back from Panama i will be headed to KAA (www.kidsacrossamerica.org) for the summer. We can't have our phones or use internet so if you ever need anything or just get really bored and want to write a letter you can send it to this address.

KAA 2 c/o Erin Thiessen
26272 Private Rd. 2232
Golden, MO 65658

Part 3:
Would someone please find me a job for when I'm done at camp? thank you :)

Love you all so much. I will miss you all so much! Make sure to keep me updated on your lives as well.

xoxo.
Erin

Senior Art Exhibition

2009-03-27T12:35:00.000-07:00

Below are several pieces from some pieces featured in my Senior Art Exhibition. The show is running at Sterling College from March 29-April 9. The gallery reception is on
April 2nd from 7:00-8:30 in the Sterling Art Center (located on the corner of 8th and Washington)
If you are interested in any of this work or other pieces please contact me at erindthiessen@gmail.com

Title: Kibera
Medium: Acrylic on Masonite

Title: Missions Chapel Kick-Off
Medium: Computer Graphics

Title: Sterling College Music Brochure I
Medium: Computer Graphics

Title: Sterling College Music Brochure II
Medium: Computer Graphics

Title: The Garden
Medium: Acrylic on Paper

Title: The Mara
Medium: Digital Photography

Title: Hawa
Medium: Digital Photography

Title: Self-Portrait
Medium: Acrylic on Canvas

For Mel...

2009-02-18T11:25:00.001-08:00

I got this amazing ring for Christmas this year from Mel. I had to take pictures the other day for some profile things for my art show and here is one of them. Just reminds me of how talented my cuz really is. You rock sister!

Art Show Part II

2009-02-16T12:41:00.000-08:00

Here is one of my larger paintings.

Title: Woven Garden
Media: Acrylic on Paper

art show preview

2009-01-27T13:17:00.000-08:00

I spend about 4-5 hours a day if not more in the studio. finally semi-finished one of photography pieces. I thought I would give you a small glimpse of what might be at my show in April.

Title: Hawa
Medium: Photography

Cookie Contest Part II

2009-01-26T19:03:00.000-08:00

Ok..
There have been 6 entries thus far.
All wonderful.
The competition is outrageous.
There is still time to submit.
Don't worry.
But the winner will be announced soon.
Just want to let you know you are not forgotten.
My hips say so.
:)

COOKIE CONTEST!!! (yes, I stole your idea annette)

2009-01-18T14:54:00.000-08:00

Due to the fact that my younger cousin is a GENIUS, I thought I might steal her idea, although I know it won't work near as well as it will for her.

So she is having a cookie contest and so am I. How does it work? You guys send me cookies and the recipe for the cookies. I choose which ones are the best, with help of my roommate and one lucky other friend then whoever wins gets their recipe on the blog. And unlike Annette, chocolate does not have to be included in my cookies. I'm not as addicted as she is. :)

Here is the best part. You have the chance for your recipe to get published on possibly 2 blogs. I know... something you have always wanted.

My address is:

Erin Thiessen
125 W. Cooper Ave Box 406
Sterling, KS
67579

At least for the fact that I have 98 days left to be a college student and receiving mail is one of the highlights of my week, please consider entering the contest. Thank you.

Disney & Last Semester Ever.

2009-01-07T11:47:00.000-08:00

So I just got down registering for my last semester of college or at least undergrad. Kinda crazy!

It's weird to think that in a year from now I have no idea where I am really going to be. Eek! But no worries...I sure whatever it is will be great. Got any ideas? I wouldn't mind hearing them!

Thought I would put some pictures up from our Florida trip. We won there and have a great time riding rollercoasters and all...The castle. Mickey. And Sleeping. Got all the best parts of the trip covered :)

3 months later...

2008-12-13T06:28:00.001-08:00

I know I am the worst updater ever, but since everyone else in the family seems to do such a good job on even my life sometimes i never think i have anything to update!

This week has been CRAZY!
Here is a list of things that has been going on... I can't seem to write in full sentences right now. My brain is fried.

1. Finals! Only one more set for undergradate work ever, can't believe it and trying to pretend like I am not graduating in less than 5 months.
2. Basketball! Takes up most of my time. We are ranked 8th in the nation right now and we are playing well. We are undefeated in conference so far, but still have a long way to go. I love my teammates and am quite frankly unsure why the Lord has given me the great opportunity to serve them.
3. Disney! Yea Baby! I leave in less than 24 hours for Walt Disney World! Which means Rockin Rollercoaster, Teacups, and the best part of Disney.... Fanny Packs.
It's my last big trip as a collegiate athelete. Sad day.
4. Art! I have been working like mad this semester in the art building. I have spent most of my time painting and am working towards my senior art show in April. So you all should plan on coming because...welll just because. Just finished up the SC Music Dept brochure and they are going to use it which is awesome because it will go in my portfolio as a published work.
5. Panama! This is awesome! I have the PHENOMENAL opportunity to go to Panama with my several of my teammates this May. There are 6 of us girls and 8 -9 guys from the boys team that are going to do sports ministry in the streets of Panama. It is a huge answer to prayer, something I have been praying about for 2 years. Several of my teammates have wanted to go abroad but just have been too scared. Something you guys can be praying for me and the girls (well the boys too!)
6. KAA! I am going back. Just decided last week and will be spending my whole summer there serving as either the athletic director or pool head for the KAA II camp. So if any of you are bored...road trip to MO! Come see me! :)

Well..that's all I got. Just got done with my final critique and I am officially done! But exhuasted. Gonna go clean and pack and hopefully take a nap before we leave for our game tonight.

Bon-who?? Bonhoeffer.

2008-09-14T16:14:00.000-07:00

This blog has many times become a source of distraction and procrastination from my wonderful homework.

And so it begins.

Break time=Blog time.

As I pretend to sound a bit intellectual, don't worry it is just a farce. I just got done reading some of Dietrich Bonhoeffer called "Life Together: The Classic Exploration of Faith in Community". Bonhoeffer has become one of the many theologians I have come to admire throughout my time here at Sterling. If you don't know much about him he was part of a plot to assassinate Hitler but then was killed by the Gestapo near the end of WWII. With his death came the discovery of his many writings from the underground seminary he ran during the Nazi years in Germany.
I read on his thoughts on Community and the Word. Yes, the Word.

He writes this, "...Christian is dependent on the Word of God spoken to him. He is pointed outward, to the Word that comes to him. The Christian lives wholly by the truth of God's Word in Jesus Christ...He is alert as possible to this Word. Because he daily hungers and thirts for righteousness, he daily desires the redeeming Word. And it can come only from outside. In himself he is destitute and dead. Help must come from the outside, and it has come and comes daily and anew in the Word of Jesus Christ, bringing redemption, righteousness, innocence, and blessedness" (22)

Wow. Pause. Think about that. Let it ruminate.

Is he saying we are dead without the Word?
Is he saying we can't do this thing called life without the Word?
Is he saying we have to have help?

Yes.
Yes.
Yes.

Comforting yet overwhelming.

I didn't get into the Word yesterday like I have for about the last 3 months. What was the effect? I found myself uglier than ever before. Annoying. Impatient. Jealous.
And I couldn't figure out why.
Duh.
I didn't get in the Word.
I was trying to do it on my own.
Big Mistake.

I was just really challenged and convicted by Bonhoeffer. His boldness, his trust, and his love for God and the Word.

Well I need to get back to the H-dub.

One last thing. He wrote of how we HUNGER and THIRST for the Word. Well my good friend Leah and I have a slight obsession with the Hillsong song called, "You'll Come". There is a line in there that says, "Flood our thirsty hearts". Cool huh? We sing it over and over again for our hall here at school. It is a great prayer. Check it out.

school.spray paint.scripture.

2008-08-29T17:23:00.000-07:00

Today the freshmen got here. Wow. Three years ago that was me. And now I am on old senior and am helping my baby cousin move in to start a whole new phase of her life. Crazy. That is the only adjective to describe what I am feeling right now.

This morning Dathan, Jeremy, Kellie and I had a great time laughing in the lobby of my dorm. I was overcome, in honestly and not to make this sound super cheesy, with joy and thankfulness for my family. That is all of you since you are the only ones who read this blog anyway. Thanks for everything you are and do. Wow. I am beyond blessed.

To Mel. Way to go girl! I am so stinkin' proud of you! Wow, a real artist has entered her wonderful piece into a REAL auction. You are big time now! Never forget me ok? :)

My latest art project has been my hall decorations. I spray painted black paint with their names on their pictures that I photoshopped. Their names are cool but I decided to do another set of pictures and write part of our hall psalm on it. That's right guys, we are moving up. We have a whole psalm this year instead of just a verse! Woo hoo! These girls have no idea what's coming at them :)
So I spray painted verses 23-24 of psalm 139 on their faces and put them on the wall in our lobby. Wow it is amazing. Not because of the art project but because of seeing the Word on their faces. The Lord just thrilled me when I saw it up because it was like He was telling me, "This is how the Word is suppose to be. On us. Not just some book we read every morning or every evening. But painted on us. Where we can't hide from it. Where we can't get away from it. Where it continually effects what we do."
So now I am trying to figure out how I can use the word in some of my art projects. I just really am inspired by it. I should be all the time anyway, but I am visual learner and I find it quite strange how the Lord used one of my own "pieces" to speak to me. So how could he use my pieces for his renown in other ways? 1 Cor 1:31

Eww...I just got really excited.

Enough of the art talk. That was for you Mel.

Now I want to do this...take pictures of feet. Dirty ones.
"And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is what the Scriptures mean which they say, 'How BEAUTIFUL are the FEET of those who bring good news'" Romans 10:15 (also in Is 52:7)

I'm back!!

2008-08-14T20:44:00.000-07:00

So many crunches later. Many sprints later. And many missed meals later. I am back and very thankful. Very thankful.

2 months later and I am back from one of the most life changing experiences I have ever been apart of. KAA (Kids Across America) is one of the most amazing places in the world and is completely anointed. The Lord taught me more than I could have imagined. I can't write about all of it because it is too much but if you want to know please talk to me, I would love to share it all. I also learned a lot about the inner city and the place of injustice that it is, but also had to understand that I couldn't be bitter at the injustice but rather find a way to bring hope to these young girls, which was showing them the path to restoration that only the Lord could guide them through.

Ok one tid bit....I learned out selfish I am. I have a sin problem and naturally I always will. I lived in a constant state of repentance and just asked the Lord to point out anything within me that offends him and he sure did. Some days I wished I wouldn't have prayed that. I spent a lot of time in Philippians this summer, especially chapter 2 and learning what humility really is and how I need to be selfless in everything. EVERYTHING!

Here are some pictures from the summer. The Lord is so good. He is sovereign. He is a father to the fatherless.
Wow I could talk about this forever.

These girls are all 14. All going to be freshmen in high school. All have broken homelives. All have been affected by the violence around them. All change my life. They are wonderful!

1 Corinthian 15:58...someone gave me this verse the 3rd day of camp and it helped me through. Know that nothing you do in the name of the Lord or for his glory is never done in vain. How cool is that?

I love my Jesus. I love my Jesus.

off to kamp

2008-06-19T16:21:00.000-07:00

I leave tomorrow for KAA.
I thought I would put my address on here if any of you feel so inclined to write me ever. Hint Hint :)
Since snail mail is my only form of communication.

Erin Thiessen
KAA 2
26272 Private Rd 2232
Golden, MO 65658

You can also look at pictures and other things at www.kidsacrossamerica.org

chalk art.

2008-06-18T22:27:00.001-07:00

saturday my cousin mel and i participated in youthville's chalk art festival in newton. too my surprise i enjoyed it way more than i thought i would. i love art. i have grown up trying to do every art form possible but 3-D is more my strength. although now i am very much more curious to explore some wonderful 2-D work. anyway, i learned a lot of myself this weekend and youthville. and more importantly, the worship form of art.

youthville is an amazing program and they are really working hard to encourage these kids to believe in themselves, find confidence in who they are even though the majority of their lives has been an entire outlet of complete and total negativity.
they had the kids desgin shoes for an art (outlet) project. and they were outstanding! completely marvelous. full of creativity and originality, i was completely blown away. these kids showed so much of who they are in a small symbol of a shoe.

so for all of you who think art is just some weird-corky-pot-smoking-phenomenon. think again. it rather is a language in which those who feel trapped in silence can speak.

healer

2008-06-11T10:41:00.000-07:00

i love this song.

a rant.

2008-04-29T12:28:00.000-07:00

So my junior year of college is officially over.
Oh crap.
What does that mean?
In one year I have to semi know what I am doing with my life. And that scares me. Well I get to at least have one more year of late sleepless nights. Naps whenever I want (well kinda). And no huge responsibilities. Oh joy.

So i figure if I am up this late i might as well do something productive right? Like write on my blog. I never know what to say on this thing. I always feel like whatever comes out is just a bit pointless. considering maybe 3 people read this anyway.

Blogs are for ranting. So here goes nothing.

Bike riding.

It is my new obsession. Why? Because i don't want to run. and i am getttin squiggy when i don't so i need to do something that at least tricks me into thinking i am actually burning as much as when i run. I am actually going in 6 hours with a friend along the river downtown. should be fun huh?

if any of you ever want to go please let me know...i am totally up for it.

formal...

2008-04-16T08:27:00.000-07:00

here are some pics from our spring formal at school.
i tried to put the mennolicious video on but it won't go on...so i will try again later.

it's always fun to dress up. the girl in the blue dress is christina and the one in the red is addie. they are freshmen girls here on campus. i went with them (and hill) because all my other friends had real dates... boo.
love you all!
you could pray for me...next week i have finals. 5 straight essay finals. a little nervous about that. actually real nervous.

obession of the week: jimmy needham. check him out.

Mennolicious

2008-02-18T17:34:00.000-08:00

So when do I update my blog? When I am avoiding big projects that I need to be finishing. So while I sit here in my sweats and need to take a shower because i just got out of practice body...I will update you on my not so exciting life.

Right now I am working on a presentation for Menno Simons. I have to do a dramatic monologue on him tomorrow in church history. So right now I am in the process of rewriting the words to Fergalicious and instead putting the word Mennolicious in. anyway, I am singing it to my class tomorrow and I am so excited!

Maybe I'll have someone secretly tape it so you all can see it. Well wait, probably not. :)

So other news, my basketball team won conference. Which is HUGE!! We are going to the national tournament now. I am so proud of our team, no one thought we would make it because we are so young this year. It is a huge accomplishment something we have been working for since September.
So after we won on Saturday we jumped in the pool and cut down nets, its our tradition. Anyway, here are some pictures from the awesome night! I wish I could really tell you guys what a huge deal this is...

Ok...it's 12:34 and Whitney and I just finished writing the words to Mennolicious... and performed it for some girls. Needless to say it's gonna be a hit!

summer???

2008-01-28T12:34:00.000-08:00

Survey time:

What should Erin do this summer?

A. Find a boring job in Wichita and save up money for school

B. Go overseas

C. Work at a camp

D. Become an independent artist who magically has everything given to her and starts her own company

E. Urban Ministry

I honestly would like your opinions. I am struggling with what to do this summer. All I know is I have like 10 weddings, a neice/nephew coming, and I have to workout for basketball. Those are my ties. Beyond that I am free.

P.S. For all you basketball fans. We are first in conference. Just 8 more games and then here we come Sioux City...

christmas pics...

2007-12-25T19:19:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures from the fun Christmas day with the family!I just love them!

Asante...

2007-12-09T22:36:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who came to my game on Thursday at Friends. It means so much more than you will ever know. Basketball is a huge part of my life. I spend at least 3 hours a day in the gym and it takes up the majority of my time here at school on top of everything else. So it means more than you know to look up in the stands and see all the people that love me most in the world watching me. Thanks for taking the time out of your evenings to come. I am sorry I didn't get to talk to all of you after the game, I was trying to shower fast so I wouldn't smell for you but I should have just come out.

Congrats to Matt and Michele and Sophie on your new edition to the family...I wish I could be there to see her. Thanks for being such great parents already...Lilian and Sophie are quite lucky. I love you guys so much and will try and come back and see you all as soon as I can.

So thanks for coming, I don't have any of your e-mails and I wanted to let you know how much it meant, so I hope enough of you read this...

Back to finals. Peace.

Another avoidance of a paper...

2007-11-11T22:04:00.000-08:00

7 papers due this week. And I am already avoiding number one by writing on here. This is not a good sign.

Oh well.

So we had our first games this weekend. Won our first. Lost our second. You really feel leadership when you lose. It hurts more than you ever think it really will. I know that might sound weird to all of you who don't play sports but when you have gone through 5 weeks of straight running and then 3 weeks of hard practice and your body is sore and tired everywhere, you think you can beat anyone. And then you play the number 4 team in the nation and realize you have a lot of improving to do.

Well welcome the number one team in the nation on Friday night. If any of you are bored, you should come check it out...

My friend Shannon and I took some fall pictures today, it was beautiful up here.

Well I need to get back to Francis of Assisi...he has become my latest hero. If you don't know much about him, check him out. Besides renouncing all of his wealth while standing buck naked in front of hundreds, he really knew how to love people genuinly and with the love of Christ. Sometimes I forget how cool it is to actually learn from people in the past...

In his words,
Lord make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love...

Be an instrument this week...just make it a good one...not the annoying one...

Carving Pumpkins...

2007-10-29T12:41:00.000-07:00

Some of the leaders in my dorm had a night of carving pumpkins last nights...it was lots of fun. Here are some pictures from the night...

Other updates...Basketball season is about underway. We have our first scrimmage tonight and then an alumni game on Saturday and then our first official game is next weekend! Crazy huh?

I just noticed I have some flowers that a friends gave me like a month ago and they have mold all over the bottom of them...ha! Just a friendly reminder that I am a college student..

Well I have Monday nap time with some friends, it's a tradition, when we can which isn't often but today it is going to happen! And then pre-game party with some of the girls on my hall...we listen to ACDC and then put t-shirt sleeves on our heads and dance to the music. Ok, you don't have to remind. I am strange. But I love these times.

I hope all is well for all of you. Keep a smile of your face and loving the Lord! He is great great great!

E

It's October!

2007-10-04T09:04:00.000-07:00

I just got back from my first test of the semester. Church History! Yeah for Augustine and Leo the Great!

So it seems that everyone else around the blogworld has fun pictures or what not, so I thought I would show you some events from this year at Sterling so far...

These are the RA's I work with in my hall. I love them so much! We dressed up to make a video for the girls with all the rules. We would rather them not glare at us when we turn into the fun-suckers at the beginning of the year.

These are the RA's again...we had to do a skit at the beginning of the year. We taught everyone how to make cookie dough. It ended up a mess, I even threw an egg at the wall. Needless to say, we aren't allowed to do that anymore...

This one is of my new roommate Melissa...she is great! We both were wearing green this particular day and we thought we should take a picture!

On Tuesday night Tabor played volleyball in Sterling. With Tabor comes three of my great friends from Wichita. I have grown up with Audrey and Jesica since we were in diapers at church. Christy, was our small group leader in high school, so we had a little reunion. I miss these girls so much!

Here is a picture of my team this year. We had a retreat in Wichita a couple weekends ago. They are great!

Lastly, I think this one could be my favorite. My good friend Shannon and I had really bad "chiggers" at the beginning of the year. Well we heard this little rumor that if you put clear nail polish on them, they will die. Well, we couldn't find clear so we used red. Needless to say it didn't work and we had red spots all over our legs at church the next day.

Well that is all from here. I need to do something more productive with my life...
Have a great day everyone!

E

I have to write a paper...

2007-09-26T18:14:00.000-07:00

Ok so I am sitting in the library trying to write a paper for my Ethics class. I have NO ATTENTION span right now...it sucks. I have been tyring to write this for two hours and let me tell you what I have.

A heading.

Woo! I can write my name, the date, and my professor's name on a paper in two hours...I must be the most incredible writer ever.

(That was sarcasm if you didn't catch it)

So why not get on my blog now, that I never seem to update and take another break? Ok...sounds good to me!

So here is an update on my life...
We are in our 3rd week of conditioning. Let me just tell you that I have never run this much in my life. Here was my Tuesday...

5:40: Ding Ding! Alarm, I turn and look at my trusty cell-phone, and wonder if is is ok to hit the snooze. Nope. I have to get up.
5:42: Wander to the bathroom to brush my teeth, my favorite part of the morning
5:45: My friend Shannon knocks on my door, she cam over because we decided to pray for a friend who's mom has a tumor in her heart and had a byopsy (sp!) that morning.
6:10: Off to my individual workout at the gym! Yeah!
6:11: Walk outside...it is FREEZING! Yikes! Should've worn some pants...
6:20: Start streching, I realize how old I am..that sucks
7:25: Work is over. I am wide awake and ready for the day now
7:30: Take a shower, I have class in two minutes
7:50: BPC, class with my foster dad...
9:15: Church History with Dr. Hank...I struggled staying awake in this one
11:30: Lunch
1:10: Ethics...always a great time
2:45: Change and get ready for more workouts
3:15: Work on fundrasing stuff
4:00: My favorite part of the day..Conditioning on the track
4:20: This is when I am offically wondering why I decided to play basketball, just kidding
4:45: Is this ever going to end?
4:50: Please let this be the last set of stairs...
5:00: FREEDOM!
5:30: Dinner
6:00: Went to the library to research for the paper I am suppose to be working on now
8:00: Volleyball games in the gym
9:00: Sonic Run..I was in need of a slush...
10:30: Start some homework
10:40: Weird guy comes in my room, try to do the whole, love youlike Jesus would, but really would have rathered him not to have been in there
11:00: Laughed with friends for awhile.
11:30: Took a 5 min nap.
12:00: I should go to bed
12:30: Still hanging out with friends and having hilarious converstaions
1:00: Time to read my bible...I think I feel asleep

Ok I think this was the dumbest blog entry anyone on the face of the planet has ever written. So I hope you didn't waste your time, like I just did. Oh crap it is 8:30 and I still just have a heading on my paper.

I love college.

Well...sometimes at least.

persecution.

2007-08-29T16:44:00.000-07:00

"Blessed are those who are persecuted, because they live for God. And the kingdom of heaven is theirs."
Matthew 5:10

What does this really look like? I mean persecution. What does it mean for you and me to be persecuted? Maybe being mocked by friends, Maybe feeling uncomfortable when we are worshiping in a big community and the people around us don't express their praise to God like we do. Persuction in the states. Where is it? I have really be struggling lately with understanding this concept. I know their is persecution here but not to the extent of other places around the world.

So how did all of this come up? Why I am about to write a really long blog-entry about something that might seem a big boring...because here at Sterling the Lord is doing things I would have never imagined here. And the other day when all my freshmen teammates got here I was trying really hard to not come across "too-spiritual", I mean I didn't want to offend them in anyway. WAIT! HOLD ON! What was I saying? Mt 5:10 has been in my head for days now and thinking of the persecuted people around the world. Being persecuted means you LIVE FOR GOD. So am I living for God wholly if I am not being persecuted? I don't think this means we need to be the bullhorn man (if anyone seen Rob Bell's nooma on that you will understand) but I do know for a fact that my faith is no longer a faith to be apologetic about. It's time for me to be bold and so what if I get persecuted. So what if my team mates think all I care about is God...oh wait, that is what care about.

So that is part one. Now, ever since I have been here many people in leadership here have felt like the Lord has told them that revival is coming this year at Sterling. I think revival is great. But I have to say I am a doubter by nature and I am not the first to jump on board and proclaim that is will happen. These last few weeks I have really been struggling with what revival is, what it looks like, and how God is going to really do that here at Sterling.

This past weekend the Lord has revealed more to me than ever before I think. Sunday night we had a worship service on the lawn of Cooper (one of our buildings) and then afterwards a bunch of us went up to our 24 hour Chapel room and had more worship. That turned into 3 hours of worship. There is something sacred about worshiping with your best friends and letting the spirit move when you could be in bed and doing a million other things. That night the Lord laid upon all of us that it is time for us to step up and be bold. He especially did to the men of this campus. The football guys that are looked at as being weak because of their faith. Well we prayed over them and now they are strong in the Lord. The guys that I haven't seen show their love to the Lord ever are now holding prayer times late into the night. We decided that night that we might as well all go for the Lord together. We have each other's backs and if we fall, well then we fall together. What can we really lose?

Then Monday night the guys got together and prayed into the night. Then Tuesday night we have about 2 and 1/2 hours of prayer and worship at a prayer we always have once a week on campus. But this year we moved it to be in Kilbourn basement, which is the hall known for the most sin and immorality on campus. Our voices rang through the halls and we were not apologetic.

Here is where it all came together. Wednesday morning at chapel. The most dreaded time on campus for everyone. That hour that we have to sit through and most people are asleep and the Lord to the least is not really being glorified. But this year they decided to change things up. So we have some worship songs right? Well technically difficulties as always.

It was rough.

It was awkard.

I wanted it all just to work.

Then it started a little better. Words came up on the screen and some people started to sing along.

Have you ever head about a million thoughts come into your head in less than 30 seconds and wonder why on earth you are never able to actually speak that fast? And how do you have 5 different conversations at once and debate with yourself all at the same time?

That was me. I wanted to stand and worship the way I know how to. I looked to the left. I looked to the right. My freshmen teammates surronded me. The softball girls were behind me. These are the girls on campus that are known to get called out by the chaplain for talking. I was trying to decide at the moment if I wanted to live for God. But then at the same time if I stand are the girls going to think I am some sort of spiritual heirarchy? The perfect person they already think I am? I don't want them to see me that way. I want to see me as once a broken person that has now been saved by God's good grace.

And then I look to my left. There was my dear friend Andy. He decided to stand in the middle of our huge auditorium that looks like a watermelon. Then John gets up on the far left side. Then Grace gets up in the front. At that moment, Sunday night came back to me. All or nothing right? In basketball we would say go big or go home. At that moment I looked and saw realtionships with friends I had built for the last 2 years that now are above and beyond anything I could ever imagine. We are united. And we are spread. We aren't in a click or stuck together. We are spread throughout our student body praising our Lord the way we wanted. At that moment I lived for God. I didn't care what people said around me. Which if you know me, takes a lot because I am the biggest people pleaser you will know.

My friends are my sisters and brothers. We have each other's back. We promised each other. The men on this campus are leading like I have never seen men lead before. Their boldness amazes me and I smile just being in their presence. I have laughed while worshiping lately just because I have been so filled with joy from the Lord.

It has been so cool to see our realtionships form to where they are today. I truly believe that the Lord had something planned for the Junior Class at Sterling College for 2007-2008. I don't know what that looks like. Is it revival? Maybe. Or maybe it is just the Lord bringing us up into the leaders he wants us to be? Whatever it is. It is good. And the Spirit is on the move. He sweeps through the classrooms, the cafteria, the dorms and there is an joy that is within the hearts of the believers on the campus. Why? Because our God is so big, he is mighty to save. He wrote salvation. He moves the mountains. And there is no person to big of a problem for his love.

Lastly, I help lead a worship time on Wednesday nights in my hall. We weren't going to have it last night because there was another event, but since it rained that event got cancelled so at dinner we spread the world that Evans Worship was going to happen. To my surprise the lobby of hall was packed out and the praises of our songs filled my hall. Unapologetically we sang. It was beautiful. It was worship. We sang into the Lord's presence and praised Him for his faithfulness.

I don't know what is going to happen at Sterling this year. But I do know that something will. And if I am persecuted in the process. Well then so be it.

I know this is long, but it is from my heart and I just needed to write it down and share it with people that have supported me so much in the years. There is a ton more to this that I didn't write but that is ok. Pray for Sterling when you think about it. Pray for us to be faithful to the Lord. Pray that we are so humble that everything we do is for the Lord and not a bit of it is for ourselves. Pray that lives are changed for the glory of the Lord.

Remember, blessed are the persecuted, because they live for God.

Don't be scared. Be joyful.

Guess who's back...back again...guess who's back...tell a friend...

2007-08-20T18:01:00.000-07:00

We have a frog infestation in Sterling. My friend Shannon actually stepped on one and blood came out and we heard the bones crunch. They are everywhere. But they are kind of cool I guess.

Just to add an extra fact from the town of Sterling.

Besides the frogs, everything else is relativly similar. They were rapidly trying to finish up projects throughout buildings. Considering you could see the sky when walking into the gym, that could be a problem. It is still humid and hot and just when you get the right breeze it might smell as though 1000 cattle live outside your window. But besides all those, I am gotten to spend some amazing time with some of the closest friends I have. So that = bliss.

RA Training has been good. They want us to feel like a family this year and they are doing a phemonal job of that. Random wake up calls at 5 am to run and do abs and wall sits and carry each other and who knows what else. To bowling. To swimming. To laughing so hard we are crying. It has been great.

But that is over now. I guess our real job must start. Fall athletes moved in today. Freshmen come on Friday. That is will be fun. Seeing all the mom's trying to do every possible "mom" thing they can do before having to really let go, while the dad's wonder why their daughters need all the stuff they are carrying in. That is always hilarious.

So that is life now. Staying up late. Having great talks. Catching up on summers. I had friends half way across the world and hearing their stories is wonderful. My one friend was in Guinea Bassau all summer, the whole country doesn't have electricity or running water. One of the poorest countries in the world. Hearing her stories has been incredible. Another friend was in Turkey and Israel. She ran on the street where Jesus drug His cross. Another was serving her heart out at a camp with high school girls. It's amazing how many different experiences we had but yet we still come back like no time has passed.

Random thoughts for the day...hope you enjoyed them.

Today smile like you never ever before.

Love.

Back to Sterling...

2007-08-10T21:41:00.000-07:00

Ok, maybe you all will stumble across this in about 3 months from now because the probably of my actually writing on post on here is just about as likely as Kellie getting a tan. Sorry Kellie, no bad feelings intended by that...

So let's see what has happened since my last post in April. I went to Kenya. Which most of you have already heard all about and I am sure wish I would just stop talking about it at some point. Kenya has a huge place in my heart and I love it so much there, there is something beautiful about another culture and another country that is suppose to see life as hopeless but yet they turn around with pearly white smiles against their beautiful ebony skin, that i so wished sometimes i had, and see an array of hope that the rest of the world looks at with pity. Yeah i know, that was a horrendous run on but oh well. So in the short of it, I feel more in love with the country of Kenya and has made me realize how much I just want to see the world and more importantly, that people of it. So if you ever want to go, let me know, I will be right next to you on those fun plane flights.

Carol, Stephen, and Me,

A Local Masaai Woman, isn't she beautiful?

This is one of my favorite pictures, it is my friend Peter and I walking back from walking some street boys to school in the morning. I had one of best conversation of the trip with him that morning and the trees there always amazed me.

This is Rose. She is an AIDS Orphan I worked with the last two summers. She is what really describes the word amazing. Her life is so unique and the Lord has spoken through her to me so evidently it is incredible. I wish you all could meet her.

Swimming in a local river, in a skirt, with the boys!

Some friends at the conference.

What else? I worked at my church and learn a WHOLE lot. But that is boring, I won't spend time talking about all that. Had a campout for my basketball team at sterling, a huge 4 people came, but it was a blast! I also got the chance to go to Colorado and visit friends from school, go to a conference and go to a Rockies game! It was probably one of the best trips I have ever been on.

Bball girls on our camping trip!

These are some of the girls I worked with this summer at camp in Shilom Springs.

Worshiping at desperation. So Sweet.

Friends at the Rockies Game, we made those t-shirts, pretty sweet huh?

These are our lucky headbands, the reason we won the game! This is my good friend Shannon, she is great!

So now I am off to start my Junior year of school at Sterling College. To be an RA, play basketball and take 18 hours in hopes of actually finishing the two majors I started with but still wonder at times if I even want to stay in them. I do understand why the average college student does change majors 7 times, how do you pick? I can't. Anyway, here is to finishing another year and closer to graduating and then to actually finding some sort of job. Oh yikes, let's not think of that, the real world. I don't want to go there yet. Nope, now is the time to just party. That sounds much better.

Anywho...hopefully I will update this more so you all can stay in tune with my life, since I know if it sooo incredibly exciting. Yeah, I know you wake up every morning waiting to check the family blogs and see what all is going on. Just kidding, but for the few that do check this, I will do my best.

Ok. Go. Live for Jesus. And Be Brillant.

Peace Out.

E

30 days...

2007-04-15T19:32:00.000-07:00

in 30 days i get to step my feet upon a flying piece of metal and fly across the atlantic to switzerland and then off to kenya. can i just tell you how i can't wait? not one little bit...i cannot wait! the fact that in 30 days, my 2 research papers will be done, i will have hopefully passed chemistry and never have to take another science class again, no more meetings, no more drama (at least for a little bit). just me and my favorite place in the world. with might i say some of the coolest.

i just can't wait. so if you think about it family. pray for kenya. that is the most amazing country to me. i love it. i love the smells. i love the food. i love the people. i love the love there. i wish i could take you all with me but i know i can't but i am kinda of taking you all with me since i know you are praying for me so much.

besides craving to go back to africa. i am just hanging here in sterling. laughing a lot and trying to say sane with all the homework and workouts. laughing helps. just in case you haven't laughed really hard in a long time. you should. it helps. promise. here are some random pictures of me with some of my favorite people in the world. i hope you enjoy them, i wish you could meet all of them too. the Lord has blessed me with so many great friends...

i love you all so much. hopefully i will see you soon! i really hope so... remember to smile and laugh. be joyful in the Lord, i promise there is always something to be thankful for. always.

(the pics in case you wanna know...
#1 at kenya date night, we are all fake laughing, just for fun...aren't we cute?
#2 me and jill and renee swisher two of my teammates at one of the boys conference tournament games
#3 me and renee at nationals...we are pretty much inseperable
#4 team kenya!! yeah! we had a date night where we auctioned ourselves off and those were our promotional shirts with pink duck tape
#5 my whole team at basketball, we are pretty much a huge family, it kinda happens when you spend every waking moment together)

new semester...new challenges...

2007-02-16T07:04:00.000-08:00

so i woke up this morning after around 5 hours of sleep. to the beautiful sound of my alarm clock, oh that is my favorite sound in the world. went to my 7:50, which happens to be Jesus, as i struggled to stay awake the whole time, my professor asks beyond hard questions for that early in the morning and I sat there feeling a bit inadequate, ok, really inadequate. this semester might be my hardest i have ever had before, ok, once again, it will be.
so my perfectionism of A's might come to a halt, is that such a bad thing? well for me, yes.
so then as i am walking back, in the cold winter weather which makes me feel as though my face is falling off, i wonder...will life ever be easy again? i mean easy like, go back home and let mom take care of you easy. oh, now those were the days. but i also guess if life wasn't challenging, than what would i really be striving for in all reality?
so as i make my way into my dorm i find my friend grace, who is still up from the night before working on her book review and we discuss this.
i guess it's good to be busy, but really i just want to quit all the commitments i have here, just for like one week. what would it be like? to not have to go to practice everyday at 3:30? to not have to be the authority on my hall and tell my girls to shut up at 1 am every night? to not have to be the resolver of every drama issue a college girl could come up with? to not have to go to 8 meetings every week? to not have to say no to so many friends who want to hang out, but i can't because i have too much to do? to not do homework?
well...just thoughts to ponder. i wouldn't change my busyness for anything once i think about it, because i would most likely go insane. but still every once in awhile i need a vacation. just a weekend retreat would be nice. at least to just be still before the Lord and be able to focus on Him. That's the hardest part about this, finding time with Him. And wanting that time too.
Well family...i love you all. a lot. and am beyond blessed to have you all in my life. you probably won't read this because i never update, but if you do...keep on going...just keep on going...
there is a prize at the end of this race...
at least i cling onto that promise...

now off to research methods, where i get to decide what topic i would most likely wirte my disertation on...any ideas?

loves...

Finals week!

2006-12-08T21:52:00.001-08:00

Well...lots has been going on. And since I am a college student and our number accomplishment seems to always somehow procrastinate I thought why not update my blog instead of studying for my last final...right? This is more fun anyways. I just took my hardest final in Human Social Context, definitly my least favorite class I have ever taken and I am so glad it is over with. Everyone leaves the dorms today but the basketball teams. We are stuck here for awhile, gotta love it right? The whole point of dorm life is the girls in the dorm and when they are all gone it is kinda sucky...well...yeah it is.

So anyways, I am putting some pictures on here of all the christmas parties and what not that has been going on. My closest friends here, Sarah, Michelle, Hillary, and Grace, we all went out to dinner together for our christmas present to each other, since we are all so broke! Anyways, they are amazing and they mean the world to me. I couldn't survive here without them. IF you all are ever up here, make sure to meet them. They are great!

The other pictures are from my wing christmas party. I took my girls on my wing out to Pizza Hut and we had a white elephant gift exchange. I was lucky enough to get a toy plane for my gift, it is pretty slick. Anyways, it was a fun time. I have a great wing of girls, we are all loud and crazy and love laughing, so I know Pizza Hut loved us when we were done, if you know what I mean :)
Anyways, I need to study for my Themes in Biblical History test now...my foster dad teaches it so don't you think He should give me a break, I mean I am his kid and all :) Just kidding...
Love you all!

Finals week!

2006-12-08T21:52:00.000-08:00

long time no write...

2006-11-04T20:19:00.000-08:00

hey everyone...well i am sure no one even reads this anymore but...here is an update on my life!
bball has begun...we had our alumni game tonight and we won 97-72 it was a good time. we have our first game on tuesday at baker and then tournaments every weekend until after thanksgiving and then conference games begin! anyways, it keeps me busy but it is fun, i love the girls they always make me smile!
life is just crazy but God is good and always faithful so He is the one who keeps me sane. i try to wake up every morning with His name on my lips and choosing to walk in His spirit and not by the flesh. anyways...enough of that!
i will try and put some pictures of fun times at sterling...just so you all can be envious of staying up late and living the party life :)
oh yeah...and melanie and michele take care of my little cousins i miss them so much, hopefully i can come and just play with them soon. tell chloe that her art is amazing and i want to paint or draw with her sometime! oh and i loved their outfits at halloween!!

Mis Amigas...

2006-10-03T10:49:00.000-07:00

My good friend Sarah came for a visit all the way from South Carolina...I have missed her so much and it was so good to see her and catch up on times.
So I thought I would let you all meet some of best friends. They are all incredible girls! And just amaze me everyday.

This is Sarah and Michelle and Me...Two of the coolest girls in the world...seriously they are...you should hang out with them sometime and you will understand why.

This is one of my favorite pictures I think ever...I love squeezes as many people as you can in a picture you take with your own arm...gotta love it right??

Here is a group shot of all of us at the football game on Saturday night. The girls in the pic....Hillary, Me, Sarah, Grace, Kate, and Michelle. We like to laugh. A lot
.

busy....

2006-09-27T17:04:00.000-07:00

my life is busy...
pure busyness...
non-stop...

...4 hours of sleep has been my record this week...every night so far...
...a bagel with peanut butter and honey has been my meal for lunch and dinner all week...
...i got my first bad grade on a test this year today...
...but...
...i wouldn't trade the times i have with my girls for anything...

...pray that i stay sane in the next week and a half...
...lots to do... :)

Water Slideski...

2006-09-12T14:39:00.000-07:00

The whole gang....

Ok...so as an RA (Resident Assistant) I have to throw wing events. Basically a time to bond as a wing of girls and get to know each other better. Needless to say...we had our first one last night. I have always wanted to have a waterslide inside of Evan's in the basement....so we did. (Soap Angels!!)

Yes. We had the 1st and not last waterslide inside of a dorm! It was awesome. Julie (my fellow RA on the hall) joined in with us with her wing so it was our whole hall! My RD even came in and joined on the action!! Anyways, just one of the many reasons why college is the best time of your life. Here are some great pictures from the event!

Jilly sliding...

It was so much fun!! This is Kate and Jill in the sink when we were cleaning up!

Sterling Revival

2006-09-04T15:43:00.000-07:00

Here are the number one volleyball fans driving to the game! :)

I'm telling you it's those Sunday Night chapels. It's Sterling College. This place I did not want to come back to about 2 months ago, but now that I am back I am incredibly thankful.
Last night I got to see one of my very close friends commit her life to Jesus! Someone I have been praying for fervently for a year. Seeing that happen is mind blowing. I held her for awhile and just cried, she probably thinks I'm crazy, but I was so joyful.
After that a few of my closest friends here on campus walked around campus for about an hour and just prayed over places where we feel the enemy has a strong hold and has places in bondage. That was amazing.

So conclusion. God is amazing. He works through people who are amazing. And He has made everything and everyone with the ability to be amazing.
Anyways, I am smiling and life it good. Wait no..it's great.

Praise Jesus for the things happening here on campus.

Water What?

2006-08-29T14:28:00.000-07:00

Kellie bugged me to update so once again...I am avoiding the millions of things I have to do.

Chapel on Sunday was quite good for me. I got to worship with my peers and listen to teaching from one of my other classmates. His words really hit me in the face...lets see...like Jesus saying, "Knock, knock...you there? Ok fine since you don't seem to want to listen to me or open up the door I guess i will just come through and and throw a baseball in your face so you will pay attention" Now I am not saying Jesus is violent. But I wonder how many times he just wants to shakes us so we will come to some sense and listen. So the main point...

Matthew 14:22-32

So basically Jesus tells Peter to walk on some water right? I mean come on no big deal, the worst thing that would happen is he would drown. I think way too often I read this story as of course I would do it, I mean HELLO! It is Jesus, the son of the creator of the universe. Yeah I would trust him. But then I think of Peter, a lonely fisherman, someone who wasn't a rabbi in studying somewhere trying to be like the rabbi above him. He wasn't the best of the best right? So he fishes. I can't even imagine that, all day long, that smell...yuck! Ok, so there is a terrible storm. Check point two when I am like "Well if I jump in and I can't walk, I'll just swim right?" Could Peter swim? How wavy was it exactly? Are we talking a down pour or justa drizzle?
Basically what I am trying to convey is that we underestimate how bad the storm was and how hard it was for Peter to jump out. But....

He does it.
He walks.
Then he sinks.

Why?? Why the sinking? Because he lost his faith right? I mean that has to be the answer. But here is my main question...What did he exactly lose his faith in? I think our first response and the best sunday school answer would be Jesus. But (this is when Jesus just busted down my door because I didn't open it like a member of SWAT and made me listen) I don't think he lost his faith in Jesus. It says in verse 29 that Peter begins to sink and says "Save me, Lord!" Peter cries our to Jesus. He cries out to Jesus...to who? Jesus. For me I don't think I would cry out to someone I don't have faith in. So why did Peter do that if we think he lost his faith in Jesus?
Ready for it (and I didn't come up with this on my own...chapel...I'm telling you come to Sterling)
Peter lost faith in himself.

HIMSELF!!!!

For all the times people told him he wasn't good enough...he remembered that and began to sink. I don't think Peter thought he could do it.

Anyways, that was long...but meant a lot to me. I so many times feel like Peter. I know Jesus thinks I can, but I don't think I can...sounds corny but true. So where is my faith in myself? Not where it should be.

I need to shower...Bye...

(oh and melanie..I painted a lot today...I love paint. I just got to be free again, isn't it weird how paint does that?)

I'm sucked in...

2006-08-24T18:26:00.000-07:00

Well since everyone else in the family has one...I feel a bit disconnected so I thought I would join the life-sucking-cyle-of-bloggers-united. So basically this is something to do besides my homework right now. Is that bad? I'm already in the cycle of procrastination.
So since I know all of you care I will tell you about my life.
My life = Busyness
I'm in Sterling doing about 5.3 million things but it is all good. I'm an RA this year so I have a hall of girls that keep things interesting for me. I'm still playing basketball, but often question why, but it is going well. I spent 3 1/2 hours in the gym yesterday so that was good. At least I'm in shape right?? Oh yeah and I found out today that I am going to be the art teacher for the Charter School here in Sterling...taking after my parents, I know, don't remind me.
As far as Sterling in general God is doing amazing things. We have a ton of prayer going on on Campus, every person is getting prayed for everyday! This is year is a huge year of change for Sterling. And it is really cool to be a part of it.
Well..I need to go make root beer floats for the entire campus now...Here are some pictures of things that have been going on here in Sterling.

Top 5 things here in Sterling:
1. Watching my girls wear little kid sleepers they bought at Target
2. High Ropes Courses...climbing swinging ladders way too high in the sky
3. Being loud in the hallway and having a freshmen tell you (as the RA) to be quiet
4. Watching freshmen make fools of themselves
5. Dancing with 12 other RAs (8 being guys) to Kirk Franklin in front of the entire student body.

My favorite girls! Ready to move the freshmen in!

Gracie Erin and Me at Highland Games!

Me and Paul...just chillaxin...

My fellow RA's in our outfits for the talent show...in which we did dance to Kirk Franklin

Love you all...
Erin