new semester...new challenges...

so i woke up this morning after around 5 hours of sleep. to the beautiful sound of my alarm clock, oh that is my favorite sound in the world. went to my 7:50, which happens to be Jesus, as i struggled to stay awake the whole time, my professor asks beyond hard questions for that early in the morning and I sat there feeling a bit inadequate, ok, really inadequate. this semester might be my hardest i have ever had before, ok, once again, it will be.
so my perfectionism of A's might come to a halt, is that such a bad thing? well for me, yes.
so then as i am walking back, in the cold winter weather which makes me feel as though my face is falling off, i wonder...will life ever be easy again? i mean easy like, go back home and let mom take care of you easy. oh, now those were the days. but i also guess if life wasn't challenging, than what would i really be striving for in all reality?
so as i make my way into my dorm i find my friend grace, who is still up from the night before working on her book review and we discuss this.
i guess it's good to be busy, but really i just want to quit all the commitments i have here, just for like one week. what would it be like? to not have to go to practice everyday at 3:30? to not have to be the authority on my hall and tell my girls to shut up at 1 am every night? to not have to be the resolver of every drama issue a college girl could come up with? to not have to go to 8 meetings every week? to not have to say no to so many friends who want to hang out, but i can't because i have too much to do? to not do homework?
well...just thoughts to ponder. i wouldn't change my busyness for anything once i think about it, because i would most likely go insane. but still every once in awhile i need a vacation. just a weekend retreat would be nice. at least to just be still before the Lord and be able to focus on Him. That's the hardest part about this, finding time with Him. And wanting that time too.
Well family...i love you all. a lot. and am beyond blessed to have you all in my life. you probably won't read this because i never update, but if you do...keep on going...just keep on going...
there is a prize at the end of this race...
at least i cling onto that promise...

now off to research methods, where i get to decide what topic i would most likely wirte my disertation on...any ideas?

loves...