persecution.

"Blessed are those who are persecuted, because they live for God. And the kingdom of heaven is theirs."
Matthew 5:10

What does this really look like? I mean persecution. What does it mean for you and me to be persecuted? Maybe being mocked by friends, Maybe feeling uncomfortable when we are worshiping in a big community and the people around us don't express their praise to God like we do. Persuction in the states. Where is it? I have really be struggling lately with understanding this concept. I know their is persecution here but not to the extent of other places around the world.

So how did all of this come up? Why I am about to write a really long blog-entry about something that might seem a big boring...because here at Sterling the Lord is doing things I would have never imagined here. And the other day when all my freshmen teammates got here I was trying really hard to not come across "too-spiritual", I mean I didn't want to offend them in anyway. WAIT! HOLD ON! What was I saying? Mt 5:10 has been in my head for days now and thinking of the persecuted people around the world. Being persecuted means you LIVE FOR GOD. So am I living for God wholly if I am not being persecuted? I don't think this means we need to be the bullhorn man (if anyone seen Rob Bell's nooma on that you will understand) but I do know for a fact that my faith is no longer a faith to be apologetic about. It's time for me to be bold and so what if I get persecuted. So what if my team mates think all I care about is God...oh wait, that is what care about.

So that is part one. Now, ever since I have been here many people in leadership here have felt like the Lord has told them that revival is coming this year at Sterling. I think revival is great. But I have to say I am a doubter by nature and I am not the first to jump on board and proclaim that is will happen. These last few weeks I have really been struggling with what revival is, what it looks like, and how God is going to really do that here at Sterling.

This past weekend the Lord has revealed more to me than ever before I think. Sunday night we had a worship service on the lawn of Cooper (one of our buildings) and then afterwards a bunch of us went up to our 24 hour Chapel room and had more worship. That turned into 3 hours of worship. There is something sacred about worshiping with your best friends and letting the spirit move when you could be in bed and doing a million other things. That night the Lord laid upon all of us that it is time for us to step up and be bold. He especially did to the men of this campus. The football guys that are looked at as being weak because of their faith. Well we prayed over them and now they are strong in the Lord. The guys that I haven't seen show their love to the Lord ever are now holding prayer times late into the night. We decided that night that we might as well all go for the Lord together. We have each other's backs and if we fall, well then we fall together. What can we really lose?

Then Monday night the guys got together and prayed into the night. Then Tuesday night we have about 2 and 1/2 hours of prayer and worship at a prayer we always have once a week on campus. But this year we moved it to be in Kilbourn basement, which is the hall known for the most sin and immorality on campus. Our voices rang through the halls and we were not apologetic.

Here is where it all came together. Wednesday morning at chapel. The most dreaded time on campus for everyone. That hour that we have to sit through and most people are asleep and the Lord to the least is not really being glorified. But this year they decided to change things up. So we have some worship songs right? Well technically difficulties as always.

It was rough.

It was awkard.

I wanted it all just to work.

Then it started a little better. Words came up on the screen and some people started to sing along.

Have you ever head about a million thoughts come into your head in less than 30 seconds and wonder why on earth you are never able to actually speak that fast? And how do you have 5 different conversations at once and debate with yourself all at the same time?

That was me. I wanted to stand and worship the way I know how to. I looked to the left. I looked to the right. My freshmen teammates surronded me. The softball girls were behind me. These are the girls on campus that are known to get called out by the chaplain for talking. I was trying to decide at the moment if I wanted to live for God. But then at the same time if I stand are the girls going to think I am some sort of spiritual heirarchy? The perfect person they already think I am? I don't want them to see me that way. I want to see me as once a broken person that has now been saved by God's good grace.

And then I look to my left. There was my dear friend Andy. He decided to stand in the middle of our huge auditorium that looks like a watermelon. Then John gets up on the far left side. Then Grace gets up in the front. At that moment, Sunday night came back to me. All or nothing right? In basketball we would say go big or go home. At that moment I looked and saw realtionships with friends I had built for the last 2 years that now are above and beyond anything I could ever imagine. We are united. And we are spread. We aren't in a click or stuck together. We are spread throughout our student body praising our Lord the way we wanted. At that moment I lived for God. I didn't care what people said around me. Which if you know me, takes a lot because I am the biggest people pleaser you will know.

My friends are my sisters and brothers. We have each other's back. We promised each other. The men on this campus are leading like I have never seen men lead before. Their boldness amazes me and I smile just being in their presence. I have laughed while worshiping lately just because I have been so filled with joy from the Lord.

It has been so cool to see our realtionships form to where they are today. I truly believe that the Lord had something planned for the Junior Class at Sterling College for 2007-2008. I don't know what that looks like. Is it revival? Maybe. Or maybe it is just the Lord bringing us up into the leaders he wants us to be? Whatever it is. It is good. And the Spirit is on the move. He sweeps through the classrooms, the cafteria, the dorms and there is an joy that is within the hearts of the believers on the campus. Why? Because our God is so big, he is mighty to save. He wrote salvation. He moves the mountains. And there is no person to big of a problem for his love.

Lastly, I help lead a worship time on Wednesday nights in my hall. We weren't going to have it last night because there was another event, but since it rained that event got cancelled so at dinner we spread the world that Evans Worship was going to happen. To my surprise the lobby of hall was packed out and the praises of our songs filled my hall. Unapologetically we sang. It was beautiful. It was worship. We sang into the Lord's presence and praised Him for his faithfulness.

I don't know what is going to happen at Sterling this year. But I do know that something will. And if I am persecuted in the process. Well then so be it.

I know this is long, but it is from my heart and I just needed to write it down and share it with people that have supported me so much in the years. There is a ton more to this that I didn't write but that is ok. Pray for Sterling when you think about it. Pray for us to be faithful to the Lord. Pray that we are so humble that everything we do is for the Lord and not a bit of it is for ourselves. Pray that lives are changed for the glory of the Lord.

Remember, blessed are the persecuted, because they live for God.

Don't be scared. Be joyful.